I feel extremely disappointment in myself today. Sitting at work unhappy about being here, despising my job and all I can think about is the fact that I am the reason I am here. If I had put in a bit more effort, or if I ever put in any effort at all then I wouldn’t have to be here in this place that I detest so much, and so often. I was so upset this morning about having to come to work I almost cried, I had to force myself out of the house, that’s how much I hate coming here. I realize a lot of people hate there jobs but should it be THIS bad? Should I hate it THIS much? I doubt it.

Breakfast- Oatmeal w/ Peanut Butter & Banana – Chemical Ridden I’m sure, was pretty tasty though. Really need to start reading labels a bit more, buying less prepackaged things would be good to, but that would involve being much less lazy about food prep, which I don’t see happening anytime in the future. Least I’m honest with myself I suppose.

It’s a NEW month, I should be optimistic for a better day, make some changes, it’s the 1st! Doesn’t seem to be happening though. I could plan for years and I’d still mess up. I wonder why they say, ‘ You don’t plan to fail, you fail to plan’ or however it goes. I plan LOTS and still fail, I can never seem to stick to any plans I create, and everything always just feels so complicated and congested. Get overwhelmed by my own flipping plans! Ugh.

Best get some work done I suppose.

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Had a nice evening with a friend. Went out for Stir Fry, was delicious and as usual when I go out with J I only ate half cause I was laughing my butt off the entire time (lunch tomorrow!). I don't know what is it about the two of us, we never made a good couple at ALL the few times we've tried to make something happen but he's just such an amazing friend, always knows how to make me laugh : )

Got home a bit later than planned, played with pups a bit, showered and did some laundry. Now heading to Sleeps!